What if forgiveness isn’t pardoning?
What if pardoning is a potential result of forgiveness?
What if forgiveness is a spiritual process that unconditionally loves all of you?
What if forgiveness isn’t pardoning?
What if pardoning is a potential result of forgiveness?
What if forgiveness is a spiritual process that unconditionally loves all of you?
Welcome to the How to Forgive course information page.
Within a spiritual-but-not-religious framework, How to Forgive is a six-week online course that proposes a new understanding of forgiveness that is supported by a clear and practical path.
Forgiveness is widely understood as one’s ability to pardon, let go, cease anger, and have compassion. While all of these abilities are much needed in the world, when the circumstances were strong, many people find them difficult, if not impossible, to do.
How to Forgive gets beneath these mainstream understandings and teaches forgiveness as a spiritual process that restores peace. From this perspective, pardoning, ceasing anger, having compassion, and letting go, all become natural outcomes of forgiveness.
At its essence, forgiveness is a person’s ability to apply unconditional love and the ability to identify exactly what needs it. When these two skills are practiced over a consistent period of time, freedom prevails.
Perhaps you have noticed many people find forgiveness challenging. Despite hearing that forgiveness is how to let go of the past, there is a lot of ambivalence about doing it, skepticism that it will work, debate that it’s even a healthy thing to do, and unawareness about how to actually do it.
This was me prior to 2012.
Hi, I am Dara McKinley. I reluctantly came to the forgiveness path after experiencing a relationship rupture that left me awash in confusion and disbelief. Previous to this experience I had spent my entire adult life working in human services, however, despite my professional knowledge and skills, I lived with a chronic feeling of resentment.
A good friend kept nudging me toward forgiveness but I was dismissive. Eventually at the age of 41, a convergence of difficult and auspicious life events pushed me to figure out the structure of forgiveness. Three weeks later I was filled with a peace I hadn’t felt in three years. I was wow’d.
Over the following decade I devoted myself to researching this amazing thing that freed me. I examined forgiveness’ nuances, tested it against a multitude of challenges, contemplated popular understanding, and most of all, I studied how it actually worked.
Today, I clearly see why this widespread spiritual concept slips through the hands of most. I see why forgiveness is misunderstood and mistrusted. I see why so many believe it is the hardest thing a person can do.
For these reasons and many more, I am passionate about bringing a dogma-free, user-friendly, and highly effective forgiveness path, to all who desire it.
“Dara has a gift for taking a very complicated topic and breaking it down to it’s essence. It is so simple yet magically effective. Consistently doing these practices over 21 days empowered me to start moving a lot of stuck energy/emotions/thoughts, releasing me ultimately from a lot of fears and regrets that kept me stuck in the weeds of life. The additional space this course opened inside me, allowed me to forgive myself and others enough to start creating again, a by-product I wasn’t expecting! I can feel myself slowly but surely breaking free of my fantasies, of my fears/excuses, feeling more encouraged to accept my reality and make positive choices knowing owning my truth is the only way I want to proceed. Thank you for creating this powerful course. I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to process stuck emotions and free themselves to move forward with passion and clarity.”– N.H.Colorado Springs
The Three Time Frames of Forgiveness
There are three time frames forgiveness can address: episodic, enduring and epoch.
1. The episodic time frame is a challenge that can be described as an “incident” or “episode” and aside from lingering feelings, the circumstances are in the past. Some general examples include: a regretted decision, an accident, a difficult relationship ending, an unexpected loss, a betrayal. To learn more about this time frame, click here to watch a short video.
2. The enduring time frame is a challenge that exists in one’s daily life. Some general examples include: an illness, co-parenting with a difficult ex, an oppressive boss, a difficult relationship that a person can’t leave, addictions, oppressive systems, and grief. To learn more about this time frame, click here to watch a short video.
3. The epoch time frame is a challenge that occurred over a long period of time. It includes childhoods, familial relationships, ancestral legacies, and any circumstance or relationship that was long-lasting. Though forgiving an epoch time frame seems daunting, it is 100% forgivable.To learn more about this time frame, click here to watch a short video.
“Most people know it’s good to forgive but until now, I’ve never been guided step by step. This is life-changing and deeply transformational. I’m able to experience a level of peace and freedom that I didn’t know I was capable of. Every cell of my being is grateful.”
– Emily J. San Francisco, CA
“My life finally has propelled forward and I am filled with gratitude for where it has taken me. The course not only started my path of healing, but it started me on a path of living! Thank you Dara, you are such a gift, these tools were such a gift.”
~ Kristy C. Boulder, CO
“I choose to forgive what I thought was unforgivable and I was astounded by the eye opening perspective of this program.”
~ Miriam B. Boulder, CO
THE COURSE
Week 1: THE FOUNDATION
Embody unconditional love.
Mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
Week 2: YOUR DIVINE MIND
Initiate your forgiveness journey.
Mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
Week 3: YOUR HEALING INFRASTRUCTURE
The what, where, why and how of emotional health.
Mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
Week 4: ACUMEN PART I
Synch a core theme with unconditional love.
Mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
Week 5: ACUMEN PART II
Identify a core theme and synch with unconditional love.
Mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
Week 6: GRADUATION
Review and celebrate all that you learned and accomplished.
Final mid-week “Restored and Whole” Live 60 Minute Zoom Call
***
- Each weekly session audio arrives on Saturday evenings at 8 PM MT.
- Live 60 minute zoom calls are held on Thursday evenings 7PM MT and will be recorded.
- Each week requires 1-3 hours of forgiveness work.
- This is not a do-at-your-own-pace online course. Registering means that you are signing up for a six-week class during the dates listed below (see FAQ).
- Should you need more time to finish, access to the course portal remains available for an extra two weeks after final zoom call.
- Should life events obstruct your ability to complete the course, simply send us an email before the arrival of the final session and you will receive a full credit towards any future course.
The next How to Forgive course is:
January 12 – February 20, 2025
Tuition: $325
Three payment plan available.
“For over a decade I had a complete refusal to forgive, due to surviving a handful of atrocious betrayals. What I didn’t realize is that refusing to forgive was literally blocking me from becoming the human being my betrayals were initiating me to become. And as a therapist I had been addressing my betrayals emotionally, mentally, and physically- for years. But it wasn’t until Dara’s course that I was spiritually transformed from the implicit impact of “unforgivable” betrayal. My entire life changed as a result, in ways I cannot begin to explain, but feel forever indebted to. If you’re ready for the real deal healing – this course is it.”– Lalena F. Colorado Springs, CO
Do you have something to forgive?
1. Do you think about something from the past much more than you would like?
2. On the flip side, do you make a strong effort to avoid something from your past?
3. Have you done a lot of work in therapy but you still have strong feelings about something in the past?
4. Does your body wince/cringe/contract when you recall specific memories/events?
5. Is there a past issue that still creates chronic stress?
6. Do you find yourself with a strong need to talk about something from the past?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you likely have something to forgive.
“How to Forgive helped me to heal one of the most important relationships in my life – my relationship with my mother. I came in to the course full of anger and ‘how could she?’ resentment. A few weeks in, I felt my heart opening and the natural impulse to let go of seeing her as a villain. This process opened a doorway to my own empowerment in my career; once I was able to let go of blaming her, I felt noticeably more powerful in the world. I had no idea how much the anger and resentment were keeping me stuck in disempowerment. Best of all, the process of letting go of anger was not a denial of my own hurt – it actually honored it and gave me a way to love myself while forgiving.”
– Katya S. Boulder, CO
YOUR DIVINE MIND
All humans are anatomically designed to forgive. To begin learning about your forgiveness infrastructure, enter you email to receive Your Divine Mind PDF:
YOUR DIVINE MIND
All humans are anatomically designed to forgive. To begin learning about your forgiveness infrastructure, enter you email to receive Your Divine Mind PDF:
FAQ
I would like to do your course but I am traveling during the course dates. Could I still do it while traveling?
It is best to wait until you have time and space in your schedule as learning how to forgive is most effective when you have the mental and emotional bandwidth to focus on it.
Courses are offered three times a year. If you are unable to take this course now, subscribe below and you will be notified when registration opens for the next course.
I would like to forgive myself. Does this course work for self-forgiveness also?
Yes, the process taught in this course works for self-forgiveness.
Can forgiveness help with trauma?
It depends on the severity of the trauma. Trauma occurs when too much happens too fast/too often, resulting in a dysregulated nervous system that can create a wide variety of challenging symptoms and coping mechanisms.
When symptoms are strong/impeding one’s quality of life, professional help is best. There is a lot to read about trauma online and many informative books. Popular trauma-centered healing modalities include: EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, MDMA Therapy, Cranial-Sacral Therapy, and NLP with a licensed clinical psychologist.
When trauma is mild to moderate, which is not uncommon with most strong life challenges, forgiveness can be beneficial.
Always consult with a medical/psychological professional after experiencing strong circumstances that may have dysregulated your nervous system/created trauma in your body.
You mention ancestral trauma in your time frames video, how does forgiveness help with that?
Ancestral trauma, also known as intergenerational trauma, are physical, mental, behavioral, and emotional patterns inherited within a familial/cultural legacy that oppress in a variety of ways.
When a person is in a stable place, forgiveness can benefit ancestral trauma. If someone is experiencing acute symptoms of ancestral trauma, professional help is recommended. Please see resources in above question.
Something really intense just happened to me, could forgiveness help?
Forgiveness is always supportive, however it is challenging to learn when experiencing strong emotions/circumstances. I recommend getting support from friends/family/healing professionals and processing what happened first.
I am religious, could I still take your course?
If you are open to universal spiritual perspectives, then you will benefit from How to Forgive.
What if you can’t decide what to forgive?
In Week 1, you will do an exercise that will clarify what to forgive first.
What exactly is the “Restored and Whole” live zoom call?
Strong challenges often leave a mark in the body which can feel like a hole, blockage, and/or chronic tension. These calls guide participants through somatic exercises aimed at replenishing these physical areas and allowing energy to circulate.
Your course is six weeks, does it really take six-weeks to forgive something?
It doesn’t take six-weeks to forgive something, but it does take six weeks to learn the specific steps and gain proficiency.
Can I download course materials at the end of the course?
You can download session meditations and course summaries, but not session audios. This course is not about information. It is a spiritual process designed to give you a sustainable healing experience and skills that are yours forever.
Have another question? Please email team@howtoforgive.com
“I took this course with the hopes of that it would help me cope with the stress of an unusually long unemployment period. Once I began though, I realized something unjust had occurred at a previous job that I had residual feelings about, so I decided to focus on forgiving my previous employer. I pride myself on being practical, logic-driven, and results-oriented. I can get cynical if something is too out-there. This course was undoubtedly effective at not only managing my stress, but also revealing things that I was holding on to and processing them. When the four weeks were done I was left feeling peaceful and complete. And yes, before the course was over, I landed a great job.” – Wendy G. Thorton, CO.
YOUR DIVINE MIND
All humans are anatomically designed to forgive. To begin learning about your forgiveness infrastructure, enter you email to receive Your Divine Mind PDF:
YOUR DIVINE MIND
All humans are anatomically designed to forgive. To begin learning about your forgiveness infrastructure, enter you email to receive Your Divine Mind PDF:
For questions about How to Forgive: team@howtoforgive.com
For collaborations: collabs@howtoforgive.com