Forgiveness, the most popular and universal spiritual teaching in the western world, is most commonly defined as one’s ability to pardon others, let go, cease anger, and have compassion. Mainstream forgiveness understanding asserts that by accomplishing these noble acts, one is liberated from the past.
Pardoning others, having compassion, ceasing anger and letting go are quite doable when the circumstances are mild to moderate. However when they are strong to severe, forgiveness becomes difficult, and for many, impossible.
This can compound one’s struggle with judgements that they are also failing at forgiveness. Or it can foster cynicism, where one concludes that forgiveness is only a spiritual ideal.
If when most needed is when the forgiveness path becomes often untraversable, perhaps there is something deeper to understand about forgiveness. Perhaps in order to fully grasp its power, one first needs to understand the source of that power.
What is unconditional love?
All benevolent religions/spiritual traditions have core teachings on unconditional love. “Unconditional” means it’s a love that has zero ability to withhold itself from whatever is in its path.
Spiritual in nature, unconditional love flows on planet earth in a variety of ways. Some people are born with a felt sense of it, while others experience it through family, creative passions, spiritual practice, exploration, service, the arts, nature, community, prayer, and of course, babies. ‘
However it shows up in one’s life, at minimum, it brings an expansive sense that something much greater is at play. At maximum, it’s an ocean of sublime oneness that most devoted meditation practitioners and near-death experiencer’s can enthusiastically attest to.
What really is forgiveness?
At its essence, forgiveness is a spiritual process that heals. It’s not dependent on a person’s capacity to pardon, have compassion, cease anger, or let go of the past. It is dependent on one’s ability to access and apply unconditional love.
Noticing how unconditional love appears in one’s life is the first step. What makes you feel expansive and connected to something bigger? How does your body feel in these moments? Identify this and you have identified a powerful medicine.
When you can’t forget, forgiveness is still 100% doable. Find your unique experience of unconditional love. It’s there and it’s mighty.
