“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.”  Alice DuerMiller

Your spouse of fifteen years cheats on you.  Your best friend lies to you and denies it.  Your father abandoned you.  An older cousin abused you when you were a child.  Your sister disrespected you behind your back.  A business associate made you look bad and gets the promotion instead of you.  A boss humiliated you in public.  The list goes on and on… 

We aren’t very old before we start feeling the affect of people in our life that hurt us.  And they hurt us to the very core of our being.  The pain can be almost unbearable.  Sometimes those people come and go in our life.  Sometimes the people that hurt us are around us for a lifetime.  We feel angry.  We feel hurt.  We feel that what has happened is wrong and unjust.  We feel like we can’t let it go until not only they know what they have done, but they make it right.  We feel that if we let go of your angry bitter feeling towards them, we are letting them off the hook for the wrong they committed. 

What we don’t realize is that this hate is a cancer in our very souls.  It is a disease that can gradually squelch in your heart any other positive emotion you have until you are literally consumed.  When you fail to forgive you create a negative bond of energy with the person you haven’t forgiven.  There is real negative energy that flows.  We build for ourselves an emotional prison wall by wall with every angry hateful thought we have.  Those walls of resentment and bitterness eventually trap our very souls.

Those negative emotions not only affect our relationship with the person who wronged us, but spill over into every relationship and aspect of our life.  Negative emotions can change who you are.  And they can limit what you have left to give those you love.  The walls of resentment that build up can cause us to be cynical, to be suspicious, and to hurt others that have done nothing but love us.  We are either contributing or contaminating every relationship we have and when harbor feelings of hatred in our hearts we contaminate our other relationships.

Each thought or feeling that we have creates an effect on our physical body.  Our bodies and our minds are inseparably connected.  Research shows that when we don’t forgive our blood pressure increases, our heart rate increases, muscle tensions increase.  We have unnecessary “fight or flight” responses when we fail to forgive which over time is damaging to our health.  These negative emotions can also affect our immunity to sicknesses.  We are much more likely to catch colds and the flu if we harbor in our minds angry feelings.

Our only escape from the cancer of bitterness and anger is forgiveness.


6 Responses to Forgiving

  • Greetings! Very helpful advice on this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!

  • Russ Bragdon says:

    I appreciate your post, it is interesting and compelling. I have found my way here through Google, I shall get back once more :)

  • D Taylor says:

    This is a blessing to me. My daughter caused problems at home and I recently shut her out. My health decline slightly and now I know why: not forgiving her. I will continue to read this because I really got a good understanding. I didn’t realize until now that forgiveness is extremely important and plays a high with health. Thanks. I needed this eye opener.

  • Sheila Davenport says:

    I’ve been struggling with forgiveness for a long time now. The bitterness and resentment I felt toward the person who hurt me was physically making me sick and turning me into a person nobody wanted to be around. The more I read the bible and pray, the more I understand that letting go is what God requires of me. I was actually listening to a discussion about forgiveness before I posted this. I’m attaching the link below and I hope it is a blessing to someone out there who is struggling with forgiveness as well. God Bless You!

  • Jason says:

    I like what you said about bitterness and anger being like cancer and our only escape is to forgive. When I learned what forgiveness was and how to forgive I felt a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. I carried around anger and resentment for years but it never accomplished anything except for making me feel bad.

  • chi_cay10 says:

    I find as I get older I understand that people are infallible including me. I appreciate this blog as I let things go too slowly but I forgive eventually. Those who hurt me move on and I’m stuck in neutral. I am proud I can say man I just want to smile. Frowns hurt. And once I look them in the eye and say I forgive we can both move on…

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